


A Teenager's Tale: An Elf's Guide to the Battle of Helms Deep

by Philweeeeeeeeeezie



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings Online
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Philweeeeeeeeeezie/pseuds/Philweeeeeeeeeezie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An elf of Rivendell is dragged into the battle of Helms Deep, and isnt too happy about the whole thing, but learns some valuable things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The start of something new

I sauntered out of the armory after getting all suited up for guard duty. It was a beautiful day in the valley of Imladris. The sun shining upon the leaves, illuminating them like small floating lanterns. The air flowing crisply through the beautiful palace of my home. "Ready yet?" I heard from behind me. I turned to see my captain, Glorfindel, striding towards me. He had been recently promoted and was in the mood to strut his stuff. Like a king with a new crown.   
"Suited up and ready to go," I casually replied.   
"You got front gate today Gwindor, knock yourself out." He said it very seriously, but i could see a small grin through which shone a small ray of sarcasm. He actually isn't that bad, just a little strict sometimes. I made my way through the courtyard and strolled out to the main gate. I took my position next to Mahtan (a quiet guard, but good elf all the same) and prepared myself for a long, every day shift.   
About 3 hours passed and nothing out of the ordinary happened, except for hearing some choice words in sindarin from Mahtan's mouth after he dropped his "lucky arrow" into the river on accident. Mostly I just stared at the waterfall. Falling freely without a care in the world from the bed that once caressed it and guided it along to no destination. That is until I heard in the distance, "Open the gate! Haldir of Lothlorien approaches!" So, being the sensible elf that I am, I opened it with haste. I peered into the distance, and sure enough, the elf that I had heard so much about galloped into view. He flew through the gate without even a glance at either of us and went immediately to where Lord Elrond was quietly having lunch.   
So Haldir was either in a rush due to some unknown urgent news, or he was just an asshole. I thought long and hard about which it was, but soon found it was indeed my first thought. For not but an hour later, we were approached by Glorfindel, and he informed us that we were to follow Haldir and his troops that were under his command to Helms Deep. Great. All I wanted was a regular day filled with watching nothing and occasionally commenting on the leaves to Mahtan. Now I am stuck following long, blond, and pretty to some fort where we have to back up some humans from some impending orc orgy. NOT how my day was planned to go. However, seeing as I was aiming to one day become captain, I kept my pretty mouth shut and did what I was told.  
I mounted a horse along with Mahtan, and headed out to where Haldir's troops were stationed. There we found highly trained archers and swordselves armed for war. Just as I was about to make a rather obscene comment about one of the archers armor, I heard a horse behind me and caught myself. Haldir had arrived. "Alright we make for Helms Deep in Rohan!" he exclaimed. "With high hopes that we are not too late to aid our allies of old, we will stand with them against the army of Isengard!" Perfect. Now we are fighting Sauroman. I never really had anything against the guy but anybody who lives alone in a huge tower with long hair is a little too resemblant to a fairy tale I once heard. I think it was called Repulsive, or something of the like. Plus I heard he uses his beard powers to grow orcs out of the ground as of late. Either way, long white hair and orc gardens don't mix, I think.  
We left the valley of Imladris with haste, as to hurry to our destination. The best thing about this was that Mahtan found his "lucky arrow" on the river bed and managed to retrieve it without falling in. But he did muddy his boots a little in the process. Those were new boots too, and it saddened me to see them dirty. Oh well, I guess. He got back on his horse and we continued up to where the valley gave way to a vast golden-like field. The end of the valley.   
We rode for several hours until nightfall. We made camp at a foresty spot on the edge of the field. There we chose three elves to keep watch on shifts. I was one of those "lucky three." I climbed up onto the thickest branch I could find and peered keenly across the swaying field. I saw nothing of interest except for a small mouse on a tree adjacent to mine. It ran aimlessly around and up the tree with no obvious goal. "Ah, ignorance is bliss." I muttered. That statement was soon followed by the thought, “Wait, if ignorance is bliss, why aren't more orcs happy?" This kept me occupied until the end of my shift, just short of 3 hours later. After I was relieved, I curled up in my blanket and drifted soundlessly into sleep.


	2. Headed down war's way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the way to Helms Deep, Gwindor finds out what travelling can be like.

I awoke the next morning with a start. What had woken me was that our lookout fell out of his tree due to a loose branch, and there were some choice words uttered rather loudly on his part. I wasn't very angry though, seeing as I slept very well that night, and made my way over to make sure that he was ok. I helped him up and saw a few twigs poking out of his back. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, just a little shaken." he cringed as he said it. I helped pull the twigs out of his back and bandaged lightly his small wounds. Haldir came strolling over about the time that we finished up. "Is he going to be alright?" He asked, genuinely concerned. "Just a few scratches, really. He will be up and falling out of trees in no time." Haldir couldn't help but grin a little, although the elf that I had patched up shared no such good humor. Then again, he had just had a rather embarrassing occurrence happen to him. I helped him onto his horse and we continued to ride on into the day.  
At about midday, we stopped briefly for a bite to eat. We didn't stop to actually eat, just so everyone could grab something then eat while riding on horseback. McDonalds, the early days. We rode on past the golden swaying field to the end of an enormous plateau. All the riders had to look around for a way down to the next level spot of ground, as we couldn't just ride off the plateau due to the 350 foot drop. Mahtan cleverly found a path and yelled to everyone its location. As we made our way down the sloping path however, we encountered a surprise unlike anything we were really expecting. An ambush had been waiting for us.  
They tackled at least 4 elves off their horses. I stayed farther from the main battle and picked off orcs with my bow that was forged for me specially by my father. My shots landed true, the arrows nailing their mark with blistering speed. I was pleased to see the battle going actually pretty well, as all of my company was highly trained and the orcs really had no idea what they were doing. I looked around, seeing no real casualties I went to aid Mahtan in sword combat. I fell back to back with him, encircled by orcs. Ready to fight every one of them and win, we raised our swords, ready to unleash the highest training Rivendell had to offer upon our foe, when Haldir burst through the orcs on horseback. He took 7 of them out with a single swing of his sword. More rushed towards him, only to fall, beheaded or otherwise, to the ground, dead. Haldir busied himself with the last of our enemy, while we still were dumbstruck by the skill he had demonstrated. His balance fell perfectly with strength, and his blows hit their mark every time without fail. Now all elves are usually pretty decent fighters to begin with, but it must have taken years of hard training to achieve that level of skill.  
"Any deaths?" Haldir shouted to his company, slightly out of breath. "Not that I can see my lord!" came from somewhere among the now mounted riders. As Mahtan and I mounted, I leaned over to him and murmured, “If Haldir can do that by himself, why can't the humans in a huge fort hold them off. They have more of an advantage than Haldir did." His reply came rather gravely, “Probably because we were fighting about 70. The humans face the wrath of Isengard." This didn't seem very significant to me so i grinned and said, “Come now Mahtan, how bad can that be." His response was again grave, “An army of orcs standing 10,000 strong." I almost fell off my horse, and made a gurgling sound that could have been mistaken for a baby balrog crying for food. "Ten-thousand!? Where did such a force come from?" Mahtan remained quiet for a moment, then I heard, “The white wizard that betrayed us. It is Sauroman's doing. He grew and bred an army to destroy Rohan and all of men." Those words were the rudest awakening I could have asked for. Though one question entered my mind that topped all others, what would make Sauroman do this? Why would a practical wizard turn against Middle-Earth? Mahtan uttered quietly, “Looks like he has a green thumb for an orc garden." That is the first light-hearted, humorous thing that I have ever heard come out of Mahtan's mouth. I mean I have only known him for a month or two but still. However it was good to hear a little levity in the midst of all this ill news.  
We rode on for about an hour or so, then Haldir motioned for the company to stop and be silent. We dismounted and ducked behind some rocks, but as I peered over them, I didn't see anything at first. Then I saw motion far, far to the west of us. It was the army of Isengard. Legions upon legions moved as one, slowly marching and trekking to Helms Deep, where they expected to simply hack the humans to bits I assume. "By Thranduil's eyebrows, it's huge!" I heard spoken not far from me. I couldn't help but chuckle at the reference, but it unfortunately was pretty accurate. Haldir motioned us back to our horses, when we were all mounted he addressed the company. "They may be larger than us, but we can move much faster. We will make it to Helms Deep first, and we will show them what it means to take on the might of not only the elves, but of all of Middle-Earth. Sauroman will regret this day more than he does the day of the ball when he got turned down cold!" Ow. Sauroman just got burned hotter than the hottest fire that a dragon could have mustered. Anyway, the speech rallied the troops, although there wasn't much cheering due to the fact that we didn't want to alert 10,000 orcs to our position, but it was generally felt that the speech did what it was intended to do. We rode on with as much speed as we could muster.  
We reached the Westfold of Rohan within a matter of hours. There was barely anything left from the onslaught they had faced from Sauroman's mercenaries. The homes were charred and burnt and dead bodies littered the fields and roads of the village. "Why? Why so much destruction and death from a man we once called friend only a short time ago?" I heard coming from Mahtan's direction. “He has no idea what he has done. We will make him pay dearly for what he has done to these innocent people." Haldir replied. I hope we do. I was raised by peaceful elves, and taught to respect all life, no matter whose life it was. However, I cannot respect the life of a being who takes it from others without qualm or concern. Such a being does not deserve to have the great gift of life.


	3. The Battle

Our path took us on a longer route than we had expected, due to the fact that there was a huge army not far from us, so we strayed father away as to avoid them. We came upon a little village, tucked away in the hills, so it was untouched by Sauroman’s mercenaries. It only had one problem, it was inhabited by dwarves. However, they were quite polite to us and informed us to where we might be able to rest for the night in the town, due to the fact that nightfall was not far away. Haldir thanked the informative dwarf, and we made our way to the largest inn in town. We tied up our horses and went inside, ready for a long nights rest on a nice soft bed.  
We awoke the next morning to find the town outside bustling with dwarves. I went up to a dwarf who called himself Dular and questioned him on the town’s condition. “Haven’t you ever heard of the celebration of Durin’s Day?” I politely shook my head and he walked away mumbling about ignorant elves. Well it isn’t my fault that we don’t celebrate stumpy hairy mounds of flesh. I went to Haldir and advised him that it would be best if we left soon, as to avoid any more traffic. He seemed to deem is wise and told the company that we were leaving soon. As we all mounted, the dwarven passerby wished us good luck on our journey. Now that was out of character if I have ever seen it. We rode up to the crest of hills that hid the village from plain view and looked to the horizon. We could see Sauroman’s army moving fast, and we knew that we would need to ride hard to outrun them. So we charged down the sloping crest, like an avalanche of majestic elves, and bounded across the field on a detour destined for Helms Deep.  
We moved like spirits of air, moving at blistering speed through the wind, feeling as if our horses were not even touching the ground. Towards Helms Deep we charged, and with a glance to the west, determined that we were indeed ahead of the impending orc army. As we stopped at the end of a field, we looked to the horizon, and there we saw the great fortress of Helms Deep. We rode up toward the massive wall, winding our way towards the gate. Haldir blew the horn he carries with him, and shortly after we hear, "Open the gate!" from inside the fortress. We dismount before entering and let our horses run free, for we would not need them any longer. We entered the gate on foot, and once all in, Haldir turned to face an inquisitive king Theodin. "How is this possible?" the confused king questioned. Haldir responded with grace, "I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between elves and men. We fought and even died together. We are here to honor that allegance." Just as he finished, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, appeared. As did Gimli, son of Gloin, and Legolas, prince of Mirkwood. Aragorn approached Haldir and greeted him in sindarin, "Mae ga'vanenn, Haldir." Aragorn quickly followed that with an embrace, which Haldir then returned. Kudos to Aragorn for being quite fluent in sindarin, which is quite complicated for men to learn. We were put under the command of Aragorn, and we lined up on the front wall, all bows were drawn and ready, for in the distance, we could see the great army, marching steadily towards us.   
We got into the positions that Aragorn asigned us to. Some of my company were a little put out that a man was being the battle stratagist over elves, you know, the ones who have protected the land of Middle-Earth for centuries? However they didn't really say anything due to the fact that it was Haldir who gave him such a role. The army marched continually on, without a single battle cry or anything. Then, it came, the long awaited pep talk. The coach preparing his team for the big game. "Show them no mercy, for you shall receive none!" shouted Aragorn. Really? I thought this was a huge patty cake contest with Isengard's finest. The front line was silent, except for Gimli's occasional gripes about bad spot choices to Legolas. The army stopped at about 200 meters in front of the wall, and started chanting something in that foul language of theirs, and beating their spears against the ground. Then a lone arrow came from the wall and nailed an orc right in the neck. He swayed for a moment, then fell to the ground, dead. The orcs looked up at us, as if to say, "Oh hell no!" They proceeded to charge the wall, only for the entire front line of them to be swept aside by arrows. If this keeps up, the only bad result from the battle will be a shortage of arrows. Then I saw some orcs loading big silver balls into the drain. What in Valar's name are they doing? We continued to pelt the army with arrows under the command of Aragorn, who actually seems to know what he is doing. Then came the bloody ladders. They would set them up and then come over the wall with suprising speed. However, after taking out the top orcs, the ladders were usually kicked back down. The orcs didn't give up easily though, and persisted with ladders that grappled onto the top of the wall. So we had to swing the little grabber thingys back off the wall and then push the huge ladders back down. Legolas took this oppertunity to show off and just shoot the strings holding them so the big ladders would fall without him having to push them. Flashy, but actually pretty intelligent. Then a rogue orc came out of the crowd holding some special looking torch. Aragorn took special interest in him, yellling at Legolas in sindarin to kill him. I didn't know what was so special about him, until I heard a boom. A very, very loud boom. A boom that shook the wall. Next thing I knew, I was standing on one side of the wall, looking at a gigantic hole in the stone. It was gone, just gone. How could it just be gone? Looks like the orc gardener actually does have magic powers, the bearded bastard. Orcs started bustling into the hold, only to be met again with more arrows. They were coming too fast though and the archers alone could not hold them. Swords clanged and shields broke in the continuing battle. Next I heard, we were ordered to retreat. That table turned quick. Mahtan and I were making our way off the wall when we saw Aragorn shouting at Haldir to fall back. Then Haldir suddenly stopped, a pained look on his face. Oh no. NOOOOOOOO! He fell to his knees, and Aragorn rushed up the stairs, knocking every orc he saw off the wall, or chopping their head off. He brutally murdered the orc that had struck Haldir, and knelt to help him. I would be up there too, but I found myself unable to move. I was not even aware the battle was still going on. I was barely realizing that I was even breathing, when Mahtan grabbed me and dragged me up to the keep.   
Well it appears that we are all suddenly very depressed. Theodin, king of Rohan is talking about how the orcs will defeat us with reckless hate. Mr. Optomistic has fallen off his high horse it seems. Aragorn seems to have convinced him to ride out and kill a bunch of orcs though, which is a good sign, I think. So now that everyone is on horseback, we all ride at the door, which is conveniently knocked down just in time by orcs. Riding at orcs on horses seems to knock all of them off the ledge. We should have considered this earlier. No really, I mean we really should have. Just as we get to the end of the ramp, sunlight shines over the crest of the mountains, and standing there is a white, bearded old man riding a white horse. Classic. Then he, and a squadron of riders charge down the hill, killing everything in their path. Well that worked out well. After our victory, which may I stress, VICTORY, the wizard, Theodin, and Aragorn started talking about their next move. Hopefully, it doesn't involve me. I hear someone yell for all elves of Rivendell to assemble to the right of (what was left of) the wall. I went with Mahtan to said area, to find that Glorfindel was there. Apparently he had been with us the whole time. Sneaky bastard. It seems he is going to be the one to lead us back home. Well, Rivendell elves to Rivendell at least, I have no idea what is going to happen to the elves of Lothlorien.


	4. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip home.

We left shortly after to the dwarf village that we had passed on the wa to the fortress. They were just as friendly, if not more so due to the fact that we saved their asses. They better be grateful, seeing as they didn't lift a bloody finger in aid! But I should have expected no less of dwarves. After all, they let a winged snail take their "precious" mountain from them. Anyway, we all gathered round, and Glorfindel let us all know how proud he was of us and how much Middle-Earth is blessed to have us as protectors. I did this for the free food. We gathered at the same hotel that we had stayed in before, but sadly there were not as many rooms needed due to deaths in battle. I mourn out losses but look to see the good in our victory. We set up in the inn and slept well through the next day. When we awoke, we found that the town was having a celebration in our honor. It would be rude to refuse, and elves being so majestic, we accepted and decided to stay a while longer. They served what they call food and drink at a huge dining table that spanned the length of their greatest hall. It was almost all meat, but we accepted it and ate it with as many vegetables as possible. Glorfindel ended up drunk in an effort to prove that dwarf ale was nothing compared to the wine we have at Rivendell, and it really isn't, so he drank 43 mugs of ale. He is a competitive bastard when he gets drunk. He insisted we all show up the dwarves in an archery contest. Now originally, we would have mercilessly destroyed them, but seeing as almost all of my company was plastered, it actually came pretty close. I was third best. I was directly beneath an elf from Lothlorien, and he was barely beaten by none other than Mahtan. He didn't drink at all, and that's probably why he won. Just a guess though. Anyway, the party was actually pretty enjoyable, aside from the dwarves barfing everywhere from trying to outdrink us. The next morning everyone awoke with groans and whimpers. Except me and Mahtan, due to the fact that I only had one mug of ale last night, due to the fact that it tasted like nazghul shit. We slowly got our things together and rode out of town, headed for home.  
It seems that the elves of Lothlorien will follow us to Rivendell, where they shall head home from there. Strength in numbers I guess. Althought they are a cheery lot, and do have some great jokes about orcs and dwarves. They also have some great stories of Lady Galadriel going ape shit on Haldir after he substituted her circlet with a goblins crown. Valar knows where he got such a thing, but there is still much I do not know about the elf. We proceeded to climb up the steep plateau, where we had been ambushed before, and made our way to the grassy field where we had made camp before. This time, we stopped at the opposite end of the field to make camp, nearer to trees that had stronger branches, so as to not have another lookout fall out of it again. We all quickly went to sleep, until we were awakened by a horrible noise, a troll, a bloody mountain troll out looking for food. We of course all jump up to scout the field around us to see if we could hide, but it would have picked up our scent. At this point, i think what a hero is, and how one is made. Alot of the time, a hero is someone tired enough and cold enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn. So I climb up into a tree, closely followed by Mahtan, who insisted on coming with me, and I knock an arrow, ready to fire. Right as the troll comes into view on the other side of the field, we fire. Both arrows hit him directly in the head, but seem to only have pissed it off. It charged, knocking over trees at us. Glorfindel was too scared to move. Let's hear it for the courageous guard captian. Mahtan ran up and stuck his sword into it's knee. It dropped onto it's opposite knee, which Mahtan took as an opportunity to swipe at it's arm. His blow hit perfectly, getting a good clean cut. However, he didn't take into account the other arm, which swung around and knocked him clean off his feet, and into a tree. I jump from the tree, only to get slammed to the ground, picked up, and tossed into the nearest vegetation, being a very large tree. So with Mahtan now unconcious, and Glorfindel being a whimp, it is up to me to show my worth. So I charge the troll, it swings at me again only this time I was ready. I jump on his arm, run up to his shoulder, and hack his ear off. He didn't seem to like that, if the screaming was any indication. He flailed around like a bloody drunken dwarf trying to swat a fly, and in the process, running over my small tent that I had set up for the night. Oh hell no. I took this opportunity(while hanging on for dear life)to try to hack his fucking head off. It starting working, until an elvish arrow, aimed for the oversized orc's head, hit me in the bloody leg. So here I am, hanging on for dear life, with an arrow in my leg, trying to single handedly kill a mountain troll. Nope, nothing wrong here. So about then I fell off the damn thing, landing hard. Mahtan still unconcious, lazy bastard. So the rest of my company finally gets the balls to finish it off, actually with an impressive array of sword and bow combat, but my leg still hurts. Starting to think that someone is out to get me. Quite possibly Valar.   
Mahtan finally regains conciousness, while I am getting my leg bound.Glorfindel walks around, seeming quite pleased that we weren't killed, as if he had helped keep us alive. Anyway, after a seemingly interesting night, and lots of headaches, we all finally get some sleep. We arrived at Rivendell the next day, with singing in our hearts to finally be back home in safety. I went straight to my room, and dropped my supplies, then went and bathed for a good two hours, with a huge glass of dorwinian wine. I got back to my post just in time to see the elves of Lothlorien leaving for their homeland. Just then I heard Glorfindel yelling at me to wake up. I knew he was an annoying psycho, but that is a bit excessive. I look at him funny and then he did it again.   
Next thing I know I am in bed, with Glorfindel leaning over me, telling me that I need to get up. "Finally, I have been at this for about 10 minutes. Come on get dressed." I sleepily drag myself from my bed, and hear him yell while striding away," You got front gate today Gwindor, knock yourself out." I suit up and go to my post where there is an elf named Mahtan as my partner for the shift. "Mahtan?" He looks over," Yes?" I stare into the distance for a moment,"I had the weirdest dream."


End file.
